No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
