Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
