I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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