don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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