Sponge bath it is.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
