You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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