She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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