I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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