So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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