girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
