you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
