$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
