it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
