This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
