I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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