PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
