plz talk dirty to me
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
