Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
