4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
