Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
