I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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