yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
