Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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