Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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