he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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