wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
