Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
