i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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