3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
