he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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