i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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