So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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