To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
