You're earring is so big in my mouth
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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