We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
