apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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