im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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