i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
