If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
