so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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