Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
