Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
