Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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