I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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