one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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