I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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