You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
