This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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