I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
