All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
