Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
