I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
