i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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