Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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